Tina Murphy
My Story
Hi! My name is Tina! I am a life and money coach for widows. In 2013, my husband, Jamie, suddenly died of a heart condition we didn’t even know that he had. During the first few years, I spent most of my time trying to figure out how to survive the day-to-day struggles of being a grieving solo mom.
Whenever my kids wanted something I would buy it for them because they had just lost their dad. Because all I had left of Jamie were the precious memories, I was determined to make as many new ones with the people I loved and my favorite way to do this was by going on trips. As time started healing my broken heart, I was realizing that my “memory” spending was beginning to get a little out of control and the credit card bill were building up.
I Was a Mindless and Emotional Spender
At that point, I slowed way down on the big purchase spending. Yet, my closet kept filling up with more and more clothes. Whenever I was feeling lonely, I would go online, and mindlessly scroll for hours until I would find a few “cute” items. During those hours my loneliness would be gone and a little bit of excitement would show up every time I would add a top into my digit shopping cart. As I would hit the purchase button, a bigger jolt of excitement would come. Yet once I closed my laptop, the feeling was gone and the loneliness consumed me again. This in return would cause me to open up my laptop to find some other item that I would need.
I Was a Self-Help Junkie
All of the “negative” emotions that I was feeling propelled me into the self-help world. I wasn’t going to be one of those bitter widows who 10 years down the road was still angry about her husband dying. When I would experience “negative” emotions like anger or sadness I would immediately jump on one of my positive websites, read all of the descriptions for the self-help books, find the ones that were going to change my mood forever. Believing that this was going to be the cure, I would buy stack and stack for books. When they arrived I would be so excited, yet also overwhelmed because I didn’t like to read. I never read a single of the self-help book I purchased in such abundance.
I Was a Parenting Program Addict
Since I now was the sole caretaker for my kids, I knew that I had to become a better mom. I was so consumed with grief while believing I had to be this perfect mom that I put so much pressure on myself. The grief and pressure combined together caused me to have little patience with my children. I would get upset at them for stupid reasons. So, my cure was to buy parenting audiobooks and programs. I would spend the time listening to the books and programs and spend hours taking notes. Yet, when I wasn’t “perfect” I would beat myself up. Eventually, I would come across a new program, get excited but then repeat the cycle.
I Became a Life Coach
In 2018, I took a course to become a life coach. I had no idea how this course would change my life forever. I learned to take control of my healing process by paying attention to the thoughts I was saying to myself and feeling the emotions of my grief instead of avoiding them with online shopping. I developed a better relationship with my money. Instead of using my money to cover up my pain, I used it to create my new goals and dreams after losing Jamie.
I Started Widow’s Wallet
Now I work together with widows to help them reach their goals, heal and harness their self-worth. Our participants:
- Learn strategies so they can enjoy their money.
- Develop the courage to discover what their “new” life has in store for them.
- Become more confident about their money journey.
- Feel encouraged and uplifted to take this journey with another widow who’s been there.