Tina Murphy

My Story

Hi! My name is Tina! I am a life and money coach for widows.  In 2013, my husband, Jamie, suddenly died of a heart condition we didn’t even know that he had.  During the first few years, I spent most of my time trying to figure out how to survive the day-to-day struggles of being a grieving solo mom.

Whenever my kids wanted something I would buy it for them because they had just lost their dad.  Because all I had left of Jamie were the precious memories, I was determined to make as many new ones with the people I loved and my favorite way to do this was by going on trips.   As time started healing my broken heart, I was realizing that my “memory” spending was beginning to get a little out of control and the credit card bill were building up. 

I Was a Mindless and Emotional Spender

At that point, I slowed way down on the big purchase spending. Yet, my closet kept filling up with more and more clothes.  Whenever I was feeling lonely, I would go online, and mindlessly scroll for hours until I would find a few “cute” items.  During those hours my loneliness would be gone and a little bit of excitement would show up every time I would add a top into my digit shopping cart.  As I would hit the purchase button, a bigger jolt of excitement would come.  Yet once I closed my laptop, the feeling was gone and the loneliness consumed me again.  This in return would cause me to open up my laptop to find some other item that I would need. 

I Was a Self-Help Junkie

All of the “negative” emotions that I was feeling propelled me into the self-help world.  I wasn’t going to be one of those bitter widows who 10 years down the road was still angry about her husband dying.  When I would experience “negative” emotions like anger or sadness I would immediately jump on one of my positive websites, read all of the descriptions for the self-help books, find the ones that were going to change my mood forever.  Believing that this was going to be the cure, I would buy stack and stack for books.  When they arrived I would be so excited, yet also overwhelmed because I didn’t like to read.  I never read a single of the self-help book I purchased in such abundance.  

I Was a Parenting Program Addict

Since I now was the sole caretaker for my kids, I knew that I had to become a better mom.  I was so consumed with grief while believing I had to be this perfect mom that I put so much pressure on myself.  The grief and pressure combined together caused me to have little patience with my children.  I would get upset at them for stupid reasons. So, my cure was to buy parenting audiobooks and programs.  I would spend the time listening to the books and programs and spend hours taking notes.  Yet, when I wasn’t “perfect” I would beat myself up.  Eventually, I would come across a new program, get excited but then repeat the cycle. 

I Became a Life Coach

In 2018, I took a course to become a life coach.  I had no idea how this course would change my life forever.  I learned to take control of my healing process by paying attention to the thoughts I was saying to myself and feeling the emotions of my grief instead of avoiding them with online shopping. I developed a better relationship with my money.  Instead of using my money to cover up my pain, I used it to create my new goals and dreams after losing Jamie. 

I Started Widow’s Wallet

Now I work together with widows to help them reach their goals, heal and harness their self-worth. Our participants:

  • Learn strategies so they can enjoy their money.
  • Develop the courage to discover what their “new” life has in store for them.
  • Become more confident about their money journey.
  • Feel encouraged and uplifted to take this journey with another widow who’s been there.